I spent Sunday afternoon doing one of my (new) favorite things - watching a live sporting event. Now, most probably wouldn't call flag football an event, but when you are watching your cub take control on the field and you start to feel your insides get all mushy when he smiles and waves from the sidelines, you kinda start to think of it as an event.
There is something about the way an athlete carries himself...his center of gravity, the way his feet are so sure on the ground, the gentle sway of his hips and shoulders and where to put his hands - it all exudes this sure-of-self demeanour that for the life of me, I really can't even explain without getting all giggly. I've never really paid attention to the confidence in the way an athlete moves, until now. Funny thing is, I only noticed it when my cub ran to the woods to take a leak! How can something that I've never noticed until now, turn me on so much about this person? It's so strange.
There's a certain feeling of pride and scariness about watching someone in their element. I was able to tell in very short notice that the cub is very respected on his team, both with the players and the coaches. He had his teammate's backs on the field and off - - and when the referee started to make some bogus calls, it was the cub who chilled the team out and got them re-focused. You can just tell when someone loves what they are doing - and sports is this guy's thing. I asked him later that night what sport he absolutely refuses to watch, and he replied with "soccer." A true American! The scary part comes when I start thinking about if I'm good enough to be with this person. I'm not the girl who can be the trophy on someones arm...I just don't have that kind of face or body. All throughout the game I found myself wondering if the cub was going to come over to me afterward, or if he would keep me hidden away - not speak to me until we were alone. I don't know why I thought this, since we have been out a couple of times...IN PUBLIC...and he's made no intent to make people think he wasn't with me. It's that whole non-athlete self-doubt coming into play! And, sure enough, after the last minutes of the clock counted down, and his team lost by 1 point, he jogged over to my seat on the bleachers, leaned in front of me and gave me the sweetest kiss, smudging a bit of mud on my nose in the process. He proceeded to tell me that I looked nice (I was in yoga gear) and that he had to shower or he would totally stink me out.
Dare I say this...but he seems to kinda like me.
In about 10 minutes, we were sitting in his car staring at each other, trying to figure out where we could go that was private for a little make out session. :) The cub had a family event in the same town an hour later and going back to my place wouldn't work since it's a 35 minute trip one way. It was way too nice of a day for the park, which was teaming with all kinds of weirdos, so jokingly I threw out the idea of the cemetery. I swear I was joking! At first. Then, I kind of melted into the idea - you know, besides being completely disrespectful to the dead and all. If I start to feel haunted, I'll know that it was a bad idea!
The cub parked the car in the back of the lot and we both climbed into the back seat in the most hurried fashion I've ever seen. The cub at least got out of the car to get into the back, whereas I climbed right over the seat divider. Classy. We made out in the backseat, which progressed to more when we realized that the seats folded down all the way and the tinted windows would hide any exposed skin.
In about an hour, we both collapsed into each other and stayed that way until the cub realized that he was 30 minutes late for his family gathering! Ops. It was then, that he ran into the woods to pee and I came to my athlete epiphany while watching him from the car. I found myself smiling to the point that when he returned to the car, he asked me what was going on. All I could do was nod my head and internalize it.
I'm really attracted to this guy who is so many years my junior. It's totally lust - but there are nights when we talk for hours and I forget that he's only 23 and it scares me. I guess we shall wait to see how this all plays out....
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