Over a year ago, I answered an ad on creepy Craigslist and met a guy that I saw a couple of times. He was nice enough, but it didn't take long to find out that he was a child trapped in a man's body. Our first couple of dates involved him being on his best behavior, and then he invited me to his place for dinner.
He served up a tasty meal, I have to admit. It was some kind of chicken stir fry with lots of fresh vegetables.
Afterwards, we retreated to his room.
That's where he lit up a joint and started playing Call of Duty...with a bunch of 8th graders, on line. I'm a bit of a cusser myself, but got super uncomfortable when he started to tell his teammates and opponents that he was going to fuck their mother's in the ass. You know, while I'm sitting there stunned. I pretty much excused myself and left him to play his game.
I was upset with the drug use...but honestly, I was more upset that he thought that I would *enjoy* sitting there watching him play a stupid video game. I told him that I didn't think we had much in common and he quietly went away into the great dating abyss.
Fast forward to this past week. Apparently, he still has my number. I got an out of the blue text from him and of course, I had no idea who it was. So, I asked - and naturally, he didn't take that kindly. He started send me insults masked with little emotion cons, then got upset if I ignored him. I told him flat out that I was not interested and to please take his time elsewhere.
So - he did. On the dating site I use.
Imagine my surprise (not) when he found me there.
I fibbed and told him that I was seeing someone, in hopes that he would just go away. Now, this is true and not - I am talking to a couple of people that I am finding interest in and would like to pursue. He took issue that I am still online and haven't moved offline to chat it up with these people.
(Text is copied and pasted, so don't make fun of me for the misspellings and grammar errors...btw, I didn't respond to any of these emails - but the running commentary he provides makes me wonder what kind of conversation *he thinks* we were having!)
"Fort a girl that claims you are seeing someone or interested in someone you are on here an aweful lot....rather odd and shady for you to be doing so when you SAY you are seeing someone? Underminded."
"LMFAO....perhaps you are keeping your options open and are a shady shitlike most women who claim not? hahaha...That's what cell phones are for....it's ok....you needn't explain anything to me for sure....I just
think it's comedy that you do so still....goes to show that you women are sneaky and shady if not more so
then men...I think its hilarious!"
"LMFAO! Cloak yourself all you desire....I will ALWAYS see through your so-called masked charade!
hahahaha... Peace out!"
"Yeah...sucks when someone calls you out on your bullshithuh? LMFAO! Don't hate me for seeing your shady ass douchbag ways......NOT my fault for you being a grimey cunt...it happens...I just think its absolutely comedy that you try and weasel your way out of it when I called you out...but it's all good....I think you'rejust pissed that you can't hide it from everyone....but good for you that you found a stupid ass gulable guy that will out up with it.....you go girl! LMFAO!"
My eyes hurt. I finally blocked his fucking ass...but I gotta admit, I was enjoying watching the massive implosion.
Showing posts with label Douchebag Award Nominee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Douchebag Award Nominee. Show all posts
Friday, January 13, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Fuck it. No, seriously...fuck it.
I was going to keep adding updates to my last post, but thought it would be a futile effort when all is said and done.
This morning, out of sheer curiosity, I checked Mr. Married Facebook Guy's page. The thumbnail and suggestion was gone from my phone. I searched his name, and the page had disappeared. There are two troubling scenarios...I was blocked, or he set his entire profile to private...and that of his wife's as well. Either way, it wasn't good because it meant that POF guy and Mr. Married Facebook Guy were the same person. The coincidence was now just too great and the scales are tipped with sufficient proof.
"Funny. XXX has disappeared from facebook, as has his wife, XXX."
"XXX is my cousin. I'm staying with him since I came here. He flipped the fuck out on me. I'm sorry but I can't have him kicking me out so I told him."
Can we talk about this for a second? JUST YESTERDAY POF Guy told me that he had *no idea* who this person on facebook was. He said he had never met him or even heard of him. Turns out, he lied to me, but the lie is greater and more grand because there's a level of sceeming and lying that I am just not used to.
The story he came up with, is that his cousin is Mr. Married Facebook Guy and he is staying with him and his wife. He told his cousin of the facebook snafu, and he supposedly flipped out (WHY???) upset that I would try to contact him or (more importantly) his wife. I would think that if this was the likely scenario, the cousin would chuckle and tell POF Guy to invite me over so we could all have a fantastic laugh about it. Ummmm no...the reaction instead was "he seriously went ape shit on me because you were probably going to message him or his wife and then he said he would kill himself." Yes...KILL. HIMSELF.
That statement alone pretty much summed up the fact that this guy is the Married Facebook Guy. (Anyone out there still want to give him the benefit of the doubt?) I told him that I believed that he is married. I then asked him to please not do that to another girl because it really hurts to get knocked down in that manner - nor is it fair.
Nothing should surprise me at this point, but this does. I'm ashamed to admit that I shed a tear (or several) because I was too trusting, too wanting to be emotionally available, too naive to see the initial writing on the wall. I don't want to turn into one of those hard-assed bitches who has so many walls up that happiness will never been fully realized! But, I see myself getting to that point, especially with this experience.
This morning, out of sheer curiosity, I checked Mr. Married Facebook Guy's page. The thumbnail and suggestion was gone from my phone. I searched his name, and the page had disappeared. There are two troubling scenarios...I was blocked, or he set his entire profile to private...and that of his wife's as well. Either way, it wasn't good because it meant that POF guy and Mr. Married Facebook Guy were the same person. The coincidence was now just too great and the scales are tipped with sufficient proof.
"Funny. XXX has disappeared from facebook, as has his wife, XXX."
"XXX is my cousin. I'm staying with him since I came here. He flipped the fuck out on me. I'm sorry but I can't have him kicking me out so I told him."
Can we talk about this for a second? JUST YESTERDAY POF Guy told me that he had *no idea* who this person on facebook was. He said he had never met him or even heard of him. Turns out, he lied to me, but the lie is greater and more grand because there's a level of sceeming and lying that I am just not used to.
The story he came up with, is that his cousin is Mr. Married Facebook Guy and he is staying with him and his wife. He told his cousin of the facebook snafu, and he supposedly flipped out (WHY???) upset that I would try to contact him or (more importantly) his wife. I would think that if this was the likely scenario, the cousin would chuckle and tell POF Guy to invite me over so we could all have a fantastic laugh about it. Ummmm no...the reaction instead was "he seriously went ape shit on me because you were probably going to message him or his wife and then he said he would kill himself." Yes...KILL. HIMSELF.
That statement alone pretty much summed up the fact that this guy is the Married Facebook Guy. (Anyone out there still want to give him the benefit of the doubt?) I told him that I believed that he is married. I then asked him to please not do that to another girl because it really hurts to get knocked down in that manner - nor is it fair.
Nothing should surprise me at this point, but this does. I'm ashamed to admit that I shed a tear (or several) because I was too trusting, too wanting to be emotionally available, too naive to see the initial writing on the wall. I don't want to turn into one of those hard-assed bitches who has so many walls up that happiness will never been fully realized! But, I see myself getting to that point, especially with this experience.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Someone pick me up off the floor - I'm laughing too hard
Just when you thought you'd seen it all and nothing could surprise you - this happens.
I got a message from a guy yesterday. We went back and forth for a bit, then hopped onto the chat feature and took it from there. He was very complimentary of my photos and profile and said that I seemed like a really nice girl that he was interested in getting to know better. He asked if he could call me later that night, which I agreed to and we exchanged phone numbers. He then asked if I had facebook, which - HELLO! All the cool kids are on facebook...of course I am as well. He sent a facebook friend request and I sat on that for about an hour before my own curiosity got the best of me. I approved him, then started digging through his pictures. (I realize that's a bit stalkerish - but I assume he was doing the same.) Then very suddenly and without warning...he defriended me.
I know there are some pretty ugly pictures that I've been tagged in, but really? LOL
So - I went back to our chat session, which had still been on-going and he had blocked me!
I was pretty dumbfounded, to say the least. So, shaking my head at the ridiculousness of it all, I texted him this morning. Because, after all...he gave me his phone number. Sucker! So, I let my fingers do the talking.
I really hope that if you try talking to women in the future, and if they open up a private space for you, don't use that against them. I have no idea what made you decide that I'm not worthy to talk to, but whatever. If you're as honest as you claim to be, I'm sure you would've told me. And that bullshit about being raised by a single mother...shelve it please. You have absolutely no integrity.
And that's when I found out that *I* was the sucker!
Who is this? I think you have the wrong number. I'm in North Carolina and I don't know anyone in area code xxx. Where is that anyway?
(Oh good god! Really? REALLY?!)
I'm sorry! Some guy named xxx is giving your number out on a dating site. I apologize. I was played.
xxx you say? That's my son's daddy. U must be in xxx. He's up there visiting for wedding. He's crazy. He lives in NC, owns a home here. He's just looking for a lay sounds like. He played me too, except now we have a son together.
(Hmmm...he told me he didn't have kids. And, that he moved to my area several months ago and was looking for someone to show him around.)
He didn't admit to a child. This is so fucked up! Go onto a dating site and give your ex-girlfriend's number out?! I'm so sorry. I've met a number of weirdos...but he takes the cake. I hope you don't get more girls yelling at you like I did, thinking it was him.
Wow, he is too funny. He owns a custom home building company in Charlotte. I know he didn't move to xxx. He packed a suitcase for a week and has round trip airfare. I do know that he is staying at the xxx in xxx. Hate to ask this, but are you a stripper? He only messes with them. Guess that's why he liked me...haha.
(OMG! Did he think I was a stripper?! Like a really HOT stripper, or one of those ugly-ass phone sex operator strippers with saggy boobs and a penis tucked into their asshole?)
LOL. That's a nice hotel. I can't say this enough...I'm sorry you were dragged into this. It's really unfair to you. I still have no idea why he would give your number. I am not a stripper, although I once took an exotic dance class...which I didn't reveal to him.
Sweet! Hey listen, you sound nice, if you want to talk to him on-line again, don't tell him I told you this, but he's MARRIED. He gave you my number because he's an asshole.
(Awesome. Married. With a separate baby mama. What a catch.)
WOW!!! It just keeps getting better! LOL. You sound like a great girl too.
We should be facebook friends.
Let's do it.
And there you have it. You can be anything you want on-line. You can block, delete and defriend all day long. But if you give out someone else's phone number, and they know your ass intimately - and it's not someone who believes in bro-code, you can't expect them to keep quiet on your douche'baggery.
I can only hope that my new friend doesn't get herself into too much trouble, but I do have to admit that I am STILL laughing from all of these new developments and have no intention of throwing her under the bus. Besides, I have since blocked him, so he can't see our new budding friendship develop. :)
It's funny...I was once afraid when I first started this blog that I wouldn't have enough stories to keep it going. I now firmly believe that there are enough freaks and weirdos in the dating world to sustain me for a lifetime. Now, if only Prince Charming would come down and wrap me in his golden cloak of normalcy! However I once read somewhere that Prince Charming was gay...so that wouldn't work for me either.
I got a message from a guy yesterday. We went back and forth for a bit, then hopped onto the chat feature and took it from there. He was very complimentary of my photos and profile and said that I seemed like a really nice girl that he was interested in getting to know better. He asked if he could call me later that night, which I agreed to and we exchanged phone numbers. He then asked if I had facebook, which - HELLO! All the cool kids are on facebook...of course I am as well. He sent a facebook friend request and I sat on that for about an hour before my own curiosity got the best of me. I approved him, then started digging through his pictures. (I realize that's a bit stalkerish - but I assume he was doing the same.) Then very suddenly and without warning...he defriended me.
I know there are some pretty ugly pictures that I've been tagged in, but really? LOL
So - I went back to our chat session, which had still been on-going and he had blocked me!
I was pretty dumbfounded, to say the least. So, shaking my head at the ridiculousness of it all, I texted him this morning. Because, after all...he gave me his phone number. Sucker! So, I let my fingers do the talking.
I really hope that if you try talking to women in the future, and if they open up a private space for you, don't use that against them. I have no idea what made you decide that I'm not worthy to talk to, but whatever. If you're as honest as you claim to be, I'm sure you would've told me. And that bullshit about being raised by a single mother...shelve it please. You have absolutely no integrity.
And that's when I found out that *I* was the sucker!
Who is this? I think you have the wrong number. I'm in North Carolina and I don't know anyone in area code xxx. Where is that anyway?
(Oh good god! Really? REALLY?!)
I'm sorry! Some guy named xxx is giving your number out on a dating site. I apologize. I was played.
xxx you say? That's my son's daddy. U must be in xxx. He's up there visiting for wedding. He's crazy. He lives in NC, owns a home here. He's just looking for a lay sounds like. He played me too, except now we have a son together.
(Hmmm...he told me he didn't have kids. And, that he moved to my area several months ago and was looking for someone to show him around.)
He didn't admit to a child. This is so fucked up! Go onto a dating site and give your ex-girlfriend's number out?! I'm so sorry. I've met a number of weirdos...but he takes the cake. I hope you don't get more girls yelling at you like I did, thinking it was him.
Wow, he is too funny. He owns a custom home building company in Charlotte. I know he didn't move to xxx. He packed a suitcase for a week and has round trip airfare. I do know that he is staying at the xxx in xxx. Hate to ask this, but are you a stripper? He only messes with them. Guess that's why he liked me...haha.
(OMG! Did he think I was a stripper?! Like a really HOT stripper, or one of those ugly-ass phone sex operator strippers with saggy boobs and a penis tucked into their asshole?)
LOL. That's a nice hotel. I can't say this enough...I'm sorry you were dragged into this. It's really unfair to you. I still have no idea why he would give your number. I am not a stripper, although I once took an exotic dance class...which I didn't reveal to him.
Sweet! Hey listen, you sound nice, if you want to talk to him on-line again, don't tell him I told you this, but he's MARRIED. He gave you my number because he's an asshole.
(Awesome. Married. With a separate baby mama. What a catch.)
WOW!!! It just keeps getting better! LOL. You sound like a great girl too.
We should be facebook friends.
Let's do it.
And there you have it. You can be anything you want on-line. You can block, delete and defriend all day long. But if you give out someone else's phone number, and they know your ass intimately - and it's not someone who believes in bro-code, you can't expect them to keep quiet on your douche'baggery.
I can only hope that my new friend doesn't get herself into too much trouble, but I do have to admit that I am STILL laughing from all of these new developments and have no intention of throwing her under the bus. Besides, I have since blocked him, so he can't see our new budding friendship develop. :)
It's funny...I was once afraid when I first started this blog that I wouldn't have enough stories to keep it going. I now firmly believe that there are enough freaks and weirdos in the dating world to sustain me for a lifetime. Now, if only Prince Charming would come down and wrap me in his golden cloak of normalcy! However I once read somewhere that Prince Charming was gay...so that wouldn't work for me either.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
My 'picker' is off
I am a certified loser magnet.
I could probably end this post right there and not continue to dwell on what happened last night, but for the sake of this blog and any other loser magnet that may stumble across these ramblings, I will write it all out.
I went on my date last night with this guy, you know...the guy I claimed to have high hopes for? And, I did. Yes, there was the age difference, but at this point in the game, it really didn't matter to me that much. We spend a good chunk of time on the phone over the last couple of days talking about the usual stuff. He "passed" all of my pre-date requirements. He has obviously played this game before because I was fooled.
The date was his to plan. Being new to the area himself, I was very interested to see what he would come up with - and gave him a couple of ideas to help him along. (ex: coffee at this really cool little place.) Later in the day, he said to meet him in the parking lot outside of the movie theaters and we'd go from there. Oooooo....mysterious!
Sitting through my committee meeting was torture! I kept looking at the clock. Luckily, I was the one running it, so I was able to keep everyone else on track and got out of there with minutes to spare. On my way to the rendezvous, I got a text from him saying "So, I was thinking we could go to your house if we hit it off." Ummm....no. I explained that I wanted to have a first meeting in public and was looking forward to getting to know him. I pulled into the parking lot, found him and walked over to his car. I sat down, and it went positively downhill from there.
The conversation went as follows:
Me: Hi, xxx. Nice to finally meet you.
Him: Can I kiss you?
Me: Ummm...I guess. (Thinking it would be a swift peck on the cheek.)
*insert tongue down my throat here*
Me: (pulling myself out of his grasp) I wasn't expecting that exactly.
Him: I really like you.
Me: So, what have you got planned for us?
Him: Let's go back to your place.
Me: I already told you that I'm not going to do that. Why don't we go have a beer?
Him: I have to insert a heart cath into a patient in the morning, so I'm not drinking tonight.
Me: Oh, ok. That's fine. How about a cup of coffee?
Him: I don't drink caffeine at night.
Me: Did you eat dinner yet? (Fair question...I had not, being stuck in a meeting.)
Him: Yes. And, I'm not going to sit in a restaurant and watch you eat. I also think it's boring to just sit and talk. I want to do something.
Me: How about bowling?
Him: How about we just go back to your house?
Me: No. I'm firm on that, so please respect my wishes to not bring a stranger back to my place. I would like to sit and talk to you and get to know you better. I've been on some pretty bad dates and I'm trying to learn from those dates.
Him: I think you're judging me for the bad dates you've been on.
Me: I may be, and I'm sorry. I just prefer not to be hurt.
Him: I think that we just chalk this meeting up to being two different people who want different things.
Me: OK. So, I guess I'll just leave then. You've already made up your mind that since I won't invite you over tonight, that you'd rather not get to know me.
Him: We can just go back to your place.
*I start digging for my keys in my bag*
Me: I'm terribly sorry if you felt you wasted your time. If you get home and think these past ten minutes over and you'd like to actually go and do something fun to get to know each other - I'm free on Friday night.
Him: I already told you my life story. You know all about me.
Me: No I don't. You can't learn about people in a couple of phone conversations. And, it would've been nice for you to try to learn more about me. Take care.
So - I get out of his grasp and start to walk back to my car. What I hadn't noticed in the time I was in his car, is that it started to rain. Without looking back, I can hear that he put his car into drive and was pulling out. He left the parking lot before I even unlocked my car.
His self proclaimed "maturity" went out the window. This kid was a fool. I was a fool. And, what makes it more scary for me is that he was getting so aggressive - pulling my arm and locking the door - I was a little concerned for my well being. That's a fucking HORRIBLE feeling, let me tell you. And one reason I insist upon meeting in a public place. If I had known that the conversation was going to go down in that way, I would've never gotten out of my car.
Driving home, I got really angry...at myself mostly. It seems as though every guy I get excited about, let's me down. Is the cure to that becoming totally jaded? How fair is it to go on a first date with someone and not at least try. Lord knows I've been on some lousy dates, but to my credit I do really try to engage and be funny, even if I'm not feeling the person. (Unless, you're him...then all bets are off.) Was this just some kind of big elaborate plan just to get me into bed - be super nice for several days so my guard is down, because you are so great that I will automatically drop my panties within 5 minutes of actually meeting you?!
I called my friend for a little feminine therapy, because sometimes it's nice to hear other people swear and make fun of people they don't know. I then asked the age old question from most singles - "Why don't you and your husband have any cute single guy friends? Can you get on that please?" Needless to say, that then sparked a whole facebook friend overhaul and now the quest is on to find a non-creeper for their friend Miz Adventures.
God help us.
I could probably end this post right there and not continue to dwell on what happened last night, but for the sake of this blog and any other loser magnet that may stumble across these ramblings, I will write it all out.
I went on my date last night with this guy, you know...the guy I claimed to have high hopes for? And, I did. Yes, there was the age difference, but at this point in the game, it really didn't matter to me that much. We spend a good chunk of time on the phone over the last couple of days talking about the usual stuff. He "passed" all of my pre-date requirements. He has obviously played this game before because I was fooled.
The date was his to plan. Being new to the area himself, I was very interested to see what he would come up with - and gave him a couple of ideas to help him along. (ex: coffee at this really cool little place.) Later in the day, he said to meet him in the parking lot outside of the movie theaters and we'd go from there. Oooooo....mysterious!
Sitting through my committee meeting was torture! I kept looking at the clock. Luckily, I was the one running it, so I was able to keep everyone else on track and got out of there with minutes to spare. On my way to the rendezvous, I got a text from him saying "So, I was thinking we could go to your house if we hit it off." Ummm....no. I explained that I wanted to have a first meeting in public and was looking forward to getting to know him. I pulled into the parking lot, found him and walked over to his car. I sat down, and it went positively downhill from there.
The conversation went as follows:
Me: Hi, xxx. Nice to finally meet you.
Him: Can I kiss you?
Me: Ummm...I guess. (Thinking it would be a swift peck on the cheek.)
*insert tongue down my throat here*
Me: (pulling myself out of his grasp) I wasn't expecting that exactly.
Him: I really like you.
Me: So, what have you got planned for us?
Him: Let's go back to your place.
Me: I already told you that I'm not going to do that. Why don't we go have a beer?
Him: I have to insert a heart cath into a patient in the morning, so I'm not drinking tonight.
Me: Oh, ok. That's fine. How about a cup of coffee?
Him: I don't drink caffeine at night.
Me: Did you eat dinner yet? (Fair question...I had not, being stuck in a meeting.)
Him: Yes. And, I'm not going to sit in a restaurant and watch you eat. I also think it's boring to just sit and talk. I want to do something.
Me: How about bowling?
Him: How about we just go back to your house?
Me: No. I'm firm on that, so please respect my wishes to not bring a stranger back to my place. I would like to sit and talk to you and get to know you better. I've been on some pretty bad dates and I'm trying to learn from those dates.
Him: I think you're judging me for the bad dates you've been on.
Me: I may be, and I'm sorry. I just prefer not to be hurt.
Him: I think that we just chalk this meeting up to being two different people who want different things.
Me: OK. So, I guess I'll just leave then. You've already made up your mind that since I won't invite you over tonight, that you'd rather not get to know me.
Him: We can just go back to your place.
*I start digging for my keys in my bag*
Me: I'm terribly sorry if you felt you wasted your time. If you get home and think these past ten minutes over and you'd like to actually go and do something fun to get to know each other - I'm free on Friday night.
Him: I already told you my life story. You know all about me.
Me: No I don't. You can't learn about people in a couple of phone conversations. And, it would've been nice for you to try to learn more about me. Take care.
So - I get out of his grasp and start to walk back to my car. What I hadn't noticed in the time I was in his car, is that it started to rain. Without looking back, I can hear that he put his car into drive and was pulling out. He left the parking lot before I even unlocked my car.
His self proclaimed "maturity" went out the window. This kid was a fool. I was a fool. And, what makes it more scary for me is that he was getting so aggressive - pulling my arm and locking the door - I was a little concerned for my well being. That's a fucking HORRIBLE feeling, let me tell you. And one reason I insist upon meeting in a public place. If I had known that the conversation was going to go down in that way, I would've never gotten out of my car.
Driving home, I got really angry...at myself mostly. It seems as though every guy I get excited about, let's me down. Is the cure to that becoming totally jaded? How fair is it to go on a first date with someone and not at least try. Lord knows I've been on some lousy dates, but to my credit I do really try to engage and be funny, even if I'm not feeling the person. (Unless, you're him...then all bets are off.) Was this just some kind of big elaborate plan just to get me into bed - be super nice for several days so my guard is down, because you are so great that I will automatically drop my panties within 5 minutes of actually meeting you?!
I called my friend for a little feminine therapy, because sometimes it's nice to hear other people swear and make fun of people they don't know. I then asked the age old question from most singles - "Why don't you and your husband have any cute single guy friends? Can you get on that please?" Needless to say, that then sparked a whole facebook friend overhaul and now the quest is on to find a non-creeper for their friend Miz Adventures.
God help us.
Monday, November 21, 2011
"I'm perfect."
Never did two words send such a horrid chill down my spine as those two did tonight. "I'm perfect."
Perfect for what?! For yourself? For the world? For all of the throes of women batting down your door? You've been single how long? Oh, 8 years...yeah...well, chances are - YOU'RE NOT PERFECT!
And why exactly did I agree to go on a date with you?!
Yes - the date started out by the guy telling me he was perfect. I actually tried to counter balance, asking him if he meant perfectly imperfect. Nope. He has his shit together, lives a wonderful life and is PERFECT. And, here Mr. Perfect are the reasons you are not perfect, from a woman batty enough not to catch on to the warning signs beforehand:
1. You have bad teeth...unless you live in England, that's not allowed.
2. You have two earrings, and you wear hoops.
3. You shoo'ed the waitress.
4. You walked out on your girlfriend without giving her a reason or a response. (Interesting share, no?)
5. You couldn't read my body language AT ALL.
6. You couldn't remember something I had repeated twice.
7. You talked over me.
8. You were late.
9. You don't drink. (Avoid people who don't drink!!!)
10. You told me that I was going to hell for saying that drinking a glass of wine with dinner is OK.
11. You insulted me no less than 5 times about my upbringing, my job choice, my lack of a formal education, my musical abilities and my choice of a hot chocolate over coffee.
12. You started arguing with me over my opinion of not wanting to have children until I was in a stable, committed relationship - or ever.
I'm sure that if I spent more than 20 minutes with him, I could have more to add to the list - but after giving him several chances at redeeming himself, *I* decided that I didn't like his style of "perfect" and walked out.
I need a new list of questions to ask before meeting someone because something is getting lost in translation here....or I really am a huge loser magnet!
Perfect for what?! For yourself? For the world? For all of the throes of women batting down your door? You've been single how long? Oh, 8 years...yeah...well, chances are - YOU'RE NOT PERFECT!
And why exactly did I agree to go on a date with you?!
Yes - the date started out by the guy telling me he was perfect. I actually tried to counter balance, asking him if he meant perfectly imperfect. Nope. He has his shit together, lives a wonderful life and is PERFECT. And, here Mr. Perfect are the reasons you are not perfect, from a woman batty enough not to catch on to the warning signs beforehand:
1. You have bad teeth...unless you live in England, that's not allowed.
2. You have two earrings, and you wear hoops.
3. You shoo'ed the waitress.
4. You walked out on your girlfriend without giving her a reason or a response. (Interesting share, no?)
5. You couldn't read my body language AT ALL.
6. You couldn't remember something I had repeated twice.
7. You talked over me.
8. You were late.
9. You don't drink. (Avoid people who don't drink!!!)
10. You told me that I was going to hell for saying that drinking a glass of wine with dinner is OK.
11. You insulted me no less than 5 times about my upbringing, my job choice, my lack of a formal education, my musical abilities and my choice of a hot chocolate over coffee.
12. You started arguing with me over my opinion of not wanting to have children until I was in a stable, committed relationship - or ever.
I'm sure that if I spent more than 20 minutes with him, I could have more to add to the list - but after giving him several chances at redeeming himself, *I* decided that I didn't like his style of "perfect" and walked out.
I need a new list of questions to ask before meeting someone because something is getting lost in translation here....or I really am a huge loser magnet!
I'm about ready to stereotype all finance guys...like I do accountants!
Over the last several months of dating, I've been out with a number of guys who work in "finance." Finance is such a loosely used term. I mean, it could mean banking (as in...I'm a teller!), or investments, financial planning, insurance and even real estate. In the realm of *my* dating, when I've met someone in finance, I usually get a guy who is not only full of himself, arrogant and rude, but also incredibly boring and sometimes a little creepy (referencing this post, date #1). It's very hard not to remind some people that everyone's shit stinks.
(I must say though...the one who slipped through my fingers was an investment broker. Its funny because life got in the way of us connecting. His friend committed suicide and he became very introverted afterwards - and it's such a shame, because I think about him from time to time. I may have just peeked at his facebook profile too. Shhhhh....don't tell.)
My last date with a guy in finance didn't go very well.
In fact, my eyes may still have that glassed over look to them because I feel like I'm still recovering.
He was late. STRIKE ONE. He lied about his height. STRIKE TWO. And, he proceeded to talk about himself, politics, the economy, health care and the 1%, and why they shouldn't have to pay taxes, for over an hour. STRIKE THREE!!! I'm not afraid of hot button issues, but wowza. About 10 minutes into the conversation, he very smugly asked me if I knew who "owned" the Federal Reserve - probably because he wanted to prove how smart he was. My response, as dead-panned as possible, was "The Federal Reserve is a private entity run by Ben Bernanki." Silence on his end followed by a "Yes. You're right."
Yeah. I know. I'm not the idiot that you thought I was...and if you tried speaking to me, you might actually see that. And yet, even with the outward change in my body language and the fact that I was staring at the clock, he still didn't let up on being a self-absorbed douchebag. At one point, the female bartender came over and put another blue moon in front of me. I looked at her questionably and whispered "I didn't order this." She replied with "I know honey. But you need it...and it's on me."
Rolling. On. The. Floor. Laughing!
After the hour-long monologue, Mr. Finance then got out of his seat, but his hand on my knee and asked me what I would think if he asked me back to his house.
"I thought we were on the same page when I was thinking that we weren't really feeling each other."
Then, the excuses started: he broke his own rule of talking more than he listened; he's a really nice guy if I just gave him a chance; he didn't want to push too fast...just a drink on the couch and no hanky-panky; girls need to relax a little and not judge every guy on the "relationship scale"; oh, I'm not saying you're basing your decision on the relationship scale; I think you're pretty and maybe we can go on another date...etc. Again, I didn't get to say a word during any of that portion of the date either. However I did get up, put my coat on and walk towards the door, with him at my heels. Are you sure you won't change your mind? I'm really great in bed. You won't be disappointed.
"You get to your car in safe manner. It was nice to meet you. Best of luck on your future endeavors."
The End. Or so I thought...unfortunately, he knows my number and how to text. A lot. What really sucks about the whole thing is that I met him at my favorite bar and now I'm afraid to go back there!
(I must say though...the one who slipped through my fingers was an investment broker. Its funny because life got in the way of us connecting. His friend committed suicide and he became very introverted afterwards - and it's such a shame, because I think about him from time to time. I may have just peeked at his facebook profile too. Shhhhh....don't tell.)
My last date with a guy in finance didn't go very well.
In fact, my eyes may still have that glassed over look to them because I feel like I'm still recovering.
He was late. STRIKE ONE. He lied about his height. STRIKE TWO. And, he proceeded to talk about himself, politics, the economy, health care and the 1%, and why they shouldn't have to pay taxes, for over an hour. STRIKE THREE!!! I'm not afraid of hot button issues, but wowza. About 10 minutes into the conversation, he very smugly asked me if I knew who "owned" the Federal Reserve - probably because he wanted to prove how smart he was. My response, as dead-panned as possible, was "The Federal Reserve is a private entity run by Ben Bernanki." Silence on his end followed by a "Yes. You're right."
Yeah. I know. I'm not the idiot that you thought I was...and if you tried speaking to me, you might actually see that. And yet, even with the outward change in my body language and the fact that I was staring at the clock, he still didn't let up on being a self-absorbed douchebag. At one point, the female bartender came over and put another blue moon in front of me. I looked at her questionably and whispered "I didn't order this." She replied with "I know honey. But you need it...and it's on me."
Rolling. On. The. Floor. Laughing!
After the hour-long monologue, Mr. Finance then got out of his seat, but his hand on my knee and asked me what I would think if he asked me back to his house.
"I thought we were on the same page when I was thinking that we weren't really feeling each other."
Then, the excuses started: he broke his own rule of talking more than he listened; he's a really nice guy if I just gave him a chance; he didn't want to push too fast...just a drink on the couch and no hanky-panky; girls need to relax a little and not judge every guy on the "relationship scale"; oh, I'm not saying you're basing your decision on the relationship scale; I think you're pretty and maybe we can go on another date...etc. Again, I didn't get to say a word during any of that portion of the date either. However I did get up, put my coat on and walk towards the door, with him at my heels. Are you sure you won't change your mind? I'm really great in bed. You won't be disappointed.
"You get to your car in safe manner. It was nice to meet you. Best of luck on your future endeavors."
The End. Or so I thought...unfortunately, he knows my number and how to text. A lot. What really sucks about the whole thing is that I met him at my favorite bar and now I'm afraid to go back there!
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