A Gross Misrepresentation

Have you ever suppressed a gag when meeting someone for the first time?

People come in all shapes and sizes, a variety of colors, personalities ranging from the complete bore to the life of the party - but when you send someone a picture that looks NOTHING like you and expect them to not notice, then you should make your reservation for hell right now.  Sure, we all like how we look in "good" photos.  I can capture an angle of myself that no one else can see.  Suddenly, instead of a round face I have chiseled cheekbones!  Am I proud of these pictures?  Hell yes!  Do I send them to people and claim I look exactly like that?  No way.  It's not fair, or right.  Guys should take note of this too...do not send me a picture of yourself 10 years ago and 70 pounds lighter.  If you do, be prepared to suffer the consequences, because I will call you on.

I have before. What's funny is that it's not really even a matter of looks...it's a matter of trust and respect.  Do you really think that any kind of meaningful (or non-meaningful) relationship will ever blossom from a mis-representation of yourself?  I mean, I totally have a wonderful personality (HA!), but I'm pretty sure that if I looked like Quasimodo and represented myself as Esmerelda, even a charming personality wouldn't save me from being berated and rejected upon first meeting.

This story is for Soph, who encouraged me to throw it out there! 

I was talking to this guy who's picture was to.die.for.  He was walking on the beach in an open white button down shirt and khaki's.  Not overly defined abs, but definitely a great body.  He lived kind of far from me (about 2 hours) but we chatted via email and on the phone and he seemed like a nice guy, so we planned to meet at a neutral place and go for a drive on his Harley.  In passing, I asked how old the picture was - thinking it was from a recent vacation...the guy told me about a year.

HE LIED.

That picture was literally 15 years old, and possibly even older than that.  Instead of the abs, there was a significant beer gut.  Instead of the full head of hair, he was bald - but grossly covered it up with a bandanna.  Instead of the strong jaw line, there was a double chin.  It was terrible. 

I called him on it.  He said that he didn't think I would meet him if he sent a recent picture.  I told him that he was probably right, and because of his deception I had absolutely no interest in getting on the back of a motorcycle and was also pissed about wasting my day to drive 4 hours (round trip) to meet such an asshole.  And, I left.

Even though I was angry at HIM, I was also angry at MYSELF. And really, if people are going to go out of their way to be deceptive, how can you even control it?  For me, it reiterates the fact that there are no solid rules to Internet dating, which is the most frustrating aspect of this whole thing.