I sent this picture to a couple of my lady friends and asked for their opinion as to whether or not these skinny, holey jeans and boots give off an impression of sluttiness. Or rather, "non-mommy" material. We all know that women take great pains when it comes to dressing for dates, because the first impression is so vitally important. If you look hot, you feel hot and if you're feeling your date - - you might get laid!
For me, this fashion choice was a little more...strategic. You see, the dude as 7 kids.
Yes. S-E-V-E-N. From ages 4 to 23. And, he's only 39. (Do the math!) So, the overall goal was to look as "non-mommy" as possible. According to a couple of friends, the brown boots showed above were not slutty enough, so I changed into a pair of black stiletto knee high boots, and there was 100% agreement that that look was sluttier. (Which makes me think a little, because I wear those boots almost every day! OMG.)
Why did I agree to go on a date with a guy who pays child support for a basketball team? I've been on so many crappy dates recently and he seemed genuinely excited about meeting me. Nor did he approach the subject of sex during our conversations and he didn't show me his penis. And, hello. FREE BEER!
Come on. You know you were thinking it too, by now. As my friend likes to say, "a girl's gotta eat."
The date, meh. I found out that he has 3 baby-mamas to go with his commune of kids. All 3 women he married and all of the children were planned. Oh...and, he cheated on ALL of his wives with multiple partners. It's very obvious that the guy can't keep his willy in his pants (or covered with a thin barrier). For a moment, I thought that the lower portion of my outfit might work against me and make him see me as the "next mommy" but luckily he caught onto my signs of displeasure and foreseeable rejection.
This date did get me thinking. How much is *too much* to reveal? Revealing that you cheated on all of your wives throughout the duration of your marriage(s) isn't really going to show you in the best of light. I can't imagine wanting to hop right into his bed. Or, maybe - like my "non-mommy material" boots, his revelation was his way of waving his own white flag and subliminally telling me that he wasn't interested as well. No explanation needed.
Dating is all about the signals, good and bad.
On a side note - Wombat fashioned a post about sexual planning from a comment I made about one of my favorite sexual positions. I may or may not have a slight crush on Wombat. His use of the english language kinda makes me weak in the knees. Check out Kiss And Blog!
My theory has always been that guys' ridiculous early self-revelations (which younger versions of me and my friends have sometimes not taken seriously) are disclaimers. As in, "I told you up front I'm crazy and I don't always take my meds/I have a fear of intimacy/I cheat with everything that moves." I now believe that any admission that is not designed to get a guy laid (i.e., any unflattering disclosure) is the truth, a warning, and a prediction of my future if I see him again. Which I typically don't. I did, however, give a second date to the guy who told me on the first date that he cheated on his wife for 6 years and liked how hot his wife got when he came home from (unbeknownst to her) sex with his girlfriend. I like to chalk that one up to how bad the pool is (he was still like a 7, given the curving I have to do!), not a serious error in judgment on my part. :-) Of course, he dropped another disclosure bombshell on date #2. (I blogged about it all here: http://my-s-word.blogspot.com/2011/09/surprise-reset-of-make-out-clock.html.)
ReplyDeleteAnd, FWIW, I agree with your friends. Black is much hotter than brown. Ditto stilettos over chunky heels. The skinny jeans are definitely hot, though!
Ahhh, yes...I remember that. Which, is always why I make sure I have enough cash in my wallet to cover at least my half of any date expense!
ReplyDeleteI think I need to flesh out this idea of a grading system! I like the way you think.
I am wholeheartedly flattered, Miss Miz. You made my day.
ReplyDeleteIt is odd how this reproductive titan chose to reveal all that to you. Then I thought about it, and realized that he'd been successful cheating and being a douche in the past. So experience told him that this is the way to a woman's heart(?) Or somewhere lower.
Men will do as much as women allow them to get away with doncha think? Oooh. That sounds like a post right there.
Re: your lower half. Ditto Miss Licious.
I find most guys amazingly self-revelatory on Date #1, when they have little invested. Maybe they think "I was honest with you up front" will obtain total forgiveness, even if it was about how they lie and cheat!
ReplyDeleteOn the grading system, I hate grade inflation, but, you know how it is--sometimes the raw scores are so low that you have to give the mean a boost! ;-)
You look great with that boots. :)
ReplyDeleteIf you go to a date, spray some of this women pheromones to be more attractive. :)
Bwah hahahaha! I love match....how do you think I bought my house? Girls gotta eat ;)
ReplyDelete