Some people are just way cooler when they can hide their physical being behind a clouded cyber world portal. Case in point, a date I had way back in July. (Yup, I'm on a bit of a dry spell so I'm pulling from the archieves.) A man who I've been chatting via text with for about 5 weeks prior. Traveling is a large part of his job, and with my busy social schedule, there had not been much opportunity for a face to face meeting.
He did not post a picture and said that he didn't give photos out free-nilly because of his job. (Is he a fucking SPY?!) Is your bullshit meter going off yet because mine certainly was! He didn't want to send a picture along because he said a coworker found out the last time he tried internet dating and passed his profile along, but he was more than willing to describe himself to me, and I quote..."I'm definitely not an ugly guy. In fact, I've been told that I'm incredibly good looking. I have sandy hair, blue eyes, a strong jaw, I'm tall and athletic. People say that I look like a movie star, but they can never remember which one. I think you'll have no problem being attracted to me."
Oh, really? We'll see. I don't know about you, but when I am forced to describe myself to someone, I am way more humble in my description.
I'm sure there will be a collective gasp from across the globe when I reveal that the date was a bust.
I've never met someone who thought so highly of himself so much that you could smell the insecurity coming out of his pores.
My gaydar was also going bonkers about 5 minutes into the date when he mentioned that he doesn't go to a very popular local bar because "it's frequented by a bunch of fags." Or, so he was told by his bodybuilder roommate. (Why did he have to tell me that he was a bodybuilder? Roommate would've been more than sufficient. And, you're 36 years old with a full time job! Why do you need or want a roommate?!) Dude, we play for the same team! And, I bet I'm way more successful. Throughout the date, he continued to talk about gay-this and gay-that and I finally looked him square in the eye and said "I think you need to come to terms with your sexuality. Straight men who are on a date with a chick don't talk about gays. They just don't. It was lovely meeting you. I wish you the very best in your search." Then, I got the hell out of there.
As far as the celebrity he said he resembles, I was trying to rack my brain for someone with as many poc marks as he had. It finally dawned on me. Dennis Stewart, who played "Leo" aka "Craterface" in Grease. He was the guy who raced John Travolta in the Thunderbird.
UG-LY.
Sorry, no longer believe the story about your coworker ratting on you. You don't upload pictures because you're fucking ugly.
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