Someone pick me up off the floor - I'm laughing too hard

Just when you thought you'd seen it all and nothing could surprise you - this happens.

I got a message from a guy yesterday.  We went back and forth for a bit, then hopped onto the chat feature and took it from there.  He was very complimentary of my photos and profile and said that I seemed like a really nice girl that he was interested in getting to know better.  He asked if he could call me later that night, which I agreed to and we exchanged phone numbers.  He then asked if I had facebook, which - HELLO!  All the cool kids are on facebook...of course I am as well.  He sent a facebook friend request and I sat on that for about an hour before my own curiosity got the best of me.  I approved him, then started digging through his pictures.  (I realize that's a bit stalkerish - but I assume he was doing the same.)  Then very suddenly and without warning...he defriended me. 

I know there are some pretty ugly pictures that I've been tagged in, but really?  LOL 

So - I went back to our chat session, which had still been on-going and he had blocked me! 

I was pretty dumbfounded, to say the least.  So, shaking my head at the ridiculousness of it all, I texted him this morning.  Because, after all...he gave me his phone number.  Sucker!  So, I let my fingers do the talking. 

I really hope that if you try talking to women in the future, and if they open up a private space for you, don't use that against them.  I have no idea what made you decide that I'm not worthy to talk to, but whatever.  If you're as honest as you claim to be, I'm sure you would've told me.  And that bullshit about being raised by a single mother...shelve it please.  You have absolutely no integrity. 

And that's when I found out that *I* was the sucker!

Who is this?  I think you have the wrong number.  I'm in North Carolina and I don't know anyone in area code xxx.  Where is that anyway?

(Oh good god!  Really?  REALLY?!) 

I'm sorry!  Some guy named xxx is giving your number out on a dating site.  I apologize.  I was played.

xxx you say?  That's my son's daddy.  U must be in xxx.  He's up there visiting for wedding.  He's crazy.  He lives in NC, owns a home here.  He's just looking for a lay sounds like.  He played me too, except now we have a son together. 

(Hmmm...he told me he didn't have kids.  And, that he moved to my area several months ago and was looking for someone to show him around.)

He didn't admit to a child.  This is so fucked up!  Go onto a dating site and give your ex-girlfriend's number out?!  I'm so sorry.  I've met a number of weirdos...but he takes the cake.  I hope you don't get more girls yelling at you like I did, thinking it was him.

Wow, he is too funny.  He owns a custom home building company in Charlotte.  I know he didn't move to xxx.  He packed a suitcase for a week and has round trip airfare. I do know that he is staying at the xxx in xxx.  Hate to ask this, but are you a stripper?  He only messes with them.  Guess that's why he liked me...haha. 

(OMG!  Did he think I was a stripper?! Like a really HOT stripper, or one of those ugly-ass phone sex operator strippers with saggy boobs and a penis tucked into their asshole?) 

LOL.  That's a nice hotel.  I can't say this enough...I'm sorry you were dragged into this.  It's really unfair to you.  I still have no idea why he would give your number.  I am not a stripper, although I once took an exotic dance class...which I didn't reveal to him. 

Sweet!  Hey listen, you sound nice, if you want to talk to him on-line again, don't tell him I told you this, but he's MARRIED.  He gave you my number because he's an asshole.

(Awesome.  Married.  With a separate baby mama.  What a catch.)

WOW!!! It just keeps getting better!  LOL.  You sound like a great girl too. 

We should be facebook friends.

Let's do it.

And there you have it.  You can be anything you want on-line.  You can block, delete and defriend all day long.  But if you give out someone else's phone number, and they know your ass intimately - and it's not someone who believes in bro-code, you can't expect them to keep quiet on your douche'baggery. 

I can only hope that my new friend doesn't get herself into too much trouble, but I do have to admit that I am STILL laughing from all of these new developments and have no intention of throwing her under the bus.  Besides, I have since blocked him, so he can't see our new budding friendship develop.  :)   

It's funny...I was once afraid when I first started this blog that I wouldn't have enough stories to keep it going.  I now firmly believe that there are enough freaks and weirdos in the dating world to sustain me for a lifetime.  Now, if only Prince Charming would come down and wrap me in his golden cloak of normalcy!  However I once read somewhere that Prince Charming was gay...so that wouldn't work for me either.