Girls (and guys)...you know. Dating sucks. There are losers slinking out of every hidden corner, just waiting to buy you a drink before they let their freak flag fly proudly. These are my adventures in both traditional and on-line dating. Pull up a chair, laugh till you pee, and live vicariously through my loser-filled adventures. And please note...this blog is rated R for language and sexual content.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Milestones in internet dating...basically a post about NOTHING

My on-line dating profile is an anomaly of sorts - vague, yet somewhat personal.  Witty, yet honest.  I listed items of importance to me that will allow the reader to catch a glimpse into my personality.

If they read it.

And, let's be honest.  Guys don't.  They're visual creatures, regardless if they claim their subscription to Playboy is "only for the articles." (I sometimes peek at Playboy for the celebrity nip slips in the back.)

I've recently did a little test on my profile.  It was a bit calculating on my part, but I'm getting pretty tired of the revolving door of first dates due to my broken picker, and this has helped, at least on the surface.

I set my profile picture to one of myself wearing a "Candy cane licker" t-shirt. 

The t-shirt photo was an amazing success.  I got hundreds of replies from men who offered up their own "candy canes," one more redundant than the other.  Not a single original message from the bunch.  There were two that I called out because after actually reading their profiles, I expected better - until my picker picked up a bit and set me straight. 

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Last week, I received my very first message from a chick! 

"I think you are incredibly sexy and wanted to know if you would be interested in another woman. I also have a very well endowed male friend that lives near you. He can play with or without me if you would like to meet one of us."

Although flattered...I like the cock.  Of course I expressed that in a much nicer way because ladies don't openly use the work cock.  Except that I just did.  Twice.  Dammit!  New Years Resolution, thwarted!

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Last night, my total "guys who want to meet you" hit 600.  Let's not talk about what a farce that feature is and just focus on how incredibly hot and sexy I am that six hundred (plus three more this morning) horny men want to stick the tip in!  Blah.

5 comments:

  1. Haha.. I recently changed my online dating site to a joint profile with a friend.. We clearly say, Not a 2 for 1 kindof deal.. Casual group dates so grab a friend. since the switch my online dating life has been that much more entertaining... It's so much fun sometimes to conduct a little mini social expierment just to see...

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  2. I'm a lady. I use the word cock. I also use the word cunt. I said it. Yes I did.

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