Men have come and gone, but some are like fruit flies - resilient little boogers that will WILL NOT go away. And, I seem to be the sickingly sweet nectar they are attracted to. HA!
The Pube Nazi. Our first, and only real-life meeting was in June, not long after I started into the realm of on-line dating. He texted me again shortly after telling me that we weren't a match because of my chosen down-there hair style. Although I have not had the crazy, mind-blowing sex that I joked I would have with him...I still get little text messages from him at least once a week. I usually reply back with something cute or smart, just enough to keep him entertained. That hook I have into him must hurt by now.
Our last interaction was today:
Pube Nazi: I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Maybe this week we can go out to dinner and you can see the new house.
Me: My holiday was lovely. Thank you for asking - that's so sweet. I still can't move from all of the food that went into my belly.
Pube Nazi: LOL. I can't eat that much.
Me: Why?! Are you on a diet?
Pube Nazi: Trying to keep my girlish figure.
Me: That is such a manly statement, I don't even have any kind of reply.
Pube Nazi: I know all the right things to say.
Indeed. I'll let the conversation fizzle out at that. I have no intention of seeing him again, but I'm (oddly) enjoying this game we seem to be playing. I must say though, he is one of the most strikingly good looking people I have ever laid eyes on, so it is kind of a shame.
The Fucktard. Oh Fucktard...you REALLY didn't play your cards right. The dual personality is such a turn off, as is the passive aggressive behavior that you've displayed recently. I did not let him help me move, even though I thought about it long and hard. Several weeks ago, he started stalking my profile, sending me ":)" and ";)" via the email system. Not much to respond to, buddy. So, I've ignored...I mean, if you can't put a sentence together - why should I be bothered? About a week ago I got this: "So, you obviously don't want me the way that I want you. I've tried so hard to get your attention and start over. Please contact me!" A-huh.
Mr. 1%. I thought I made it clear that I was not interested in your brand of Republican'ism? Stop. Please. Mr. 1% has updated me on all the new and "interesting" things in his daily life since our date. I have seen pictures of his Christmas tree, his favorite ornament and the new cocktail that he created...he also sent me descriptive texts about his Thanksgiving meal, his last workout and his plans for this evening (take out, beer and football). In none of those messages did he ask a single thing about myself. He just really, really digs himself!
One of these days, I will write about the Morsel Guy. He was a Craigslist find and recently started contacting me again - but he's being very subtle about it - so I'm letting that train wreck play out.
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